To trust or not to?

Years ago, while going through a transformational workshop, I had an experience that I would like to relate to you. There were a little over a hundred of us in this large meeting room at a local hotel. During one of the breaks all of the chairs were removed from the room. When we came back in, the room was completely open and spacious.

 

The trainer informed us that we were about to do an exercise on trust. The instructions were simple. Each of us was to go around the room and in a ten minute period of time have a single interaction with as many of the others as we could. We weren’t required to talk to everyone and we could pick and choose who we did and did not interact with. But the interaction itself was very specific. We were to walk up to a person, smile, look them right in the eye and say either “Hi, I trust you” or “Hi, I don’t trust you”. Loud dance music was played so that even though we were all together in the same room, each conversation was a private one.

 

Now the thing here is, none of us knew each other. We were all different people from different walks of life who had each independently signed up for this class. So there were no no preformed relationships. The only things people could base their decisions on was what the other person looked like or sounded like when they walked up and said hello.

How did things turn out? Click here to read on and see.

The grudge

So, a friend or loved one does something you strongly disapprove of. Perhaps they lie to or cheat on you. You could decide that they have hurt you enough and you no longer want them to be around. But, you do still love the person and want them to be a part of your life.

 

So even though they wronged you, you decide not to break off the relationship. Instead you decide that you are going to get back at them by making life uncomfortable for them. Each time you see them or spend time with them you remind them that you are still angry or upset. You hold back favors or nice things that you would normally do for them. There. That will show them. Right?

 

Well, maybe. But probably not. I mean yeah, there’s that feeling of righteous vindication that you may get from punishing someone that has done something wrong to you. How long does that really last though, only a few seconds right? And then afterwards where does that leave you with your loved one?

 And how does holding a grudge hurt you? Click here to read on and see.